the pain of letting go

sigh* i don't know what's wrong with me... i try to see myself as someone who will be moving on in the world... but i am under so much stress i don't know if i can cut it anymore...

school is killing me, life is killing me, everything is going crazy, and i'm going down with it...

work was sucky and goood today, i'm deciding whether or not i will quit.... maybe i'll stick it out, i don't know... but i banked 120ish today... wee...

on another note, i feel terrible for dragging my friend into the delimma she is having with her b/f... she is an amazing girl... and it hurts so much to say it, but she is...but in the end, i don't know what will happen...

probably nothing...

it is so hard to do this, but i think i might have to move away from her a little bit, to ensure that nothing happens unless she really wants it to.. idon't want to influence her, i want her to choose for herself, and in the end know what she wants.... i don't want her to think she wants to be with me, and then end disappointed... that's worse than not being with her at all...

it hurts to let go