trying to start over, the old way...
i'm pulling my hair out, emotionally... lol...
it's so easy to say you're past everything and laugh about it. it's so easy to say you're okay when you're not, to laugh at things which you don't even find funny, to proclaim that you are happy when you are as lonely and sad as humanly possible...
it's so easy...
i try so hard every day to wear a smile and forget my past, to pretend that i never had one, to start over with a clean slate. i try so hard to pretend that i'm okay, when inside i'm screaming with all my might for someone to save me. i try so hard to pretend that it's going to be okay, and that i'm someone i'm not, trying to find solace in a place of pandemonium...
i try so hard...
this tangled skein i've woven is one that i'll never be able to pick apart and mend... i'm still shaken at how fast my world has fallen and i still try to create a new one... i try so hard to bottle up all of the loss and sorrow deep inside me, just so i can pretend to forget it, to hope that it'll stay lost in the abysmal well of pain already built up.
"it'll all get better" "the pain will go away" "you'll be okay" "it wasn't meant to be" "i'm sick of trying to keep us together" that's the one that remains the most vivid in my mind.
to have someone you'd willingly devote all you have to, someone you would care for without even thinking about it, someone who you would do anything, pay anything, sacrifice anything for, to have someone that special say that they are tired of trying to keep us together. that they can't do it anymore.... it rips you up inside...
i can't think, i can't eat half the time, i can't sleep at all....
trying to start over the old way, trying to start over with nothing of which to start with.... trying to create something new out of feelings that are already used... trying to forget something that has changed your life so drastically, and will ultimately destroy you...
trying to move on, when all you have is what is left behind you....
it's so easy to say you're past everything and laugh about it. it's so easy to say you're okay when you're not, to laugh at things which you don't even find funny, to proclaim that you are happy when you are as lonely and sad as humanly possible...
it's so easy...
i try so hard every day to wear a smile and forget my past, to pretend that i never had one, to start over with a clean slate. i try so hard to pretend that i'm okay, when inside i'm screaming with all my might for someone to save me. i try so hard to pretend that it's going to be okay, and that i'm someone i'm not, trying to find solace in a place of pandemonium...
i try so hard...
this tangled skein i've woven is one that i'll never be able to pick apart and mend... i'm still shaken at how fast my world has fallen and i still try to create a new one... i try so hard to bottle up all of the loss and sorrow deep inside me, just so i can pretend to forget it, to hope that it'll stay lost in the abysmal well of pain already built up.
"it'll all get better" "the pain will go away" "you'll be okay" "it wasn't meant to be" "i'm sick of trying to keep us together" that's the one that remains the most vivid in my mind.
to have someone you'd willingly devote all you have to, someone you would care for without even thinking about it, someone who you would do anything, pay anything, sacrifice anything for, to have someone that special say that they are tired of trying to keep us together. that they can't do it anymore.... it rips you up inside...
i can't think, i can't eat half the time, i can't sleep at all....
trying to start over the old way, trying to start over with nothing of which to start with.... trying to create something new out of feelings that are already used... trying to forget something that has changed your life so drastically, and will ultimately destroy you...
trying to move on, when all you have is what is left behind you....
posted by p03tic_tr4g3dy at 7:03 PM
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