the psychology of... me
ah, back to school.... how very exciting... actually, it kinda is, because it gives me a chance to start brand new. alot of the people i went out with before, or even hung out with graduated, so i'm off to make new impressions last. i've apparantly gotten off on a good foot already, cuz alot of girls have been talking to me, not to mention the guys who used to want nothing to do with me are asking me to hang out with them. it's the glasses... or lack there of.
not that i need the approval of the rest of the world, but i would like to start dating some people. that IS the only reason i wanted to come back to school...
already i've set up a date with a girl for next weekend, yay, and some other girl was eyeballing me today, not to menion following me on the way home, cool. both seem really cool, and are people i'd like to hang out with.
oh well, as far as myself and work are concerned, it's a job. every time i go, it gets less painful to see courtney. yes, ladies and gents, she has a name. i don't know why i'm bothered so much by the fact, but just seeing her brings back so many old memories. i probably would have left already if it hadn't been for the fact that the money is good. i'm only seventeen, and i'm serving, i can't do that anywhere else.
it's really hard seeing ur ex flirt with guys, and be hit on, quite frankly it sucks. but i always tell myself it's for the better, not to mention the fact that now i'm free.... but being free never sounded so bad. to go from security and love to nothing in a flash is terrifying. to be out in the world vulnerable and alone, that's even scarier.
i'm not saying i'm a weak kid, i'm as resiliant as they come, but i do have a fear of people. bad experiences in the past... well, i don't know, that's enough ranting for now, i'll be back later to finish this...
ciao
not that i need the approval of the rest of the world, but i would like to start dating some people. that IS the only reason i wanted to come back to school...
already i've set up a date with a girl for next weekend, yay, and some other girl was eyeballing me today, not to menion following me on the way home, cool. both seem really cool, and are people i'd like to hang out with.
oh well, as far as myself and work are concerned, it's a job. every time i go, it gets less painful to see courtney. yes, ladies and gents, she has a name. i don't know why i'm bothered so much by the fact, but just seeing her brings back so many old memories. i probably would have left already if it hadn't been for the fact that the money is good. i'm only seventeen, and i'm serving, i can't do that anywhere else.
it's really hard seeing ur ex flirt with guys, and be hit on, quite frankly it sucks. but i always tell myself it's for the better, not to mention the fact that now i'm free.... but being free never sounded so bad. to go from security and love to nothing in a flash is terrifying. to be out in the world vulnerable and alone, that's even scarier.
i'm not saying i'm a weak kid, i'm as resiliant as they come, but i do have a fear of people. bad experiences in the past... well, i don't know, that's enough ranting for now, i'll be back later to finish this...
ciao
posted by p03tic_tr4g3dy at 12:33 PM
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