thankful for the life of an unwanted soul...
i almost died tonight... i still shudder at that thought... i have never been the best of drivers, but i always have been better than most. tonight that was proven to me, as i narrowly missed rear-ending a van at high speeds... which would have ended my life... no need to get into specifics, i was just evasive in my tatics as far as driving is concerned...
i am greatful for every day of life that i have, no matter how miserable or lonely it is... as i look back on the mistakes i've made, i most definately have regrets, but i am learning how to deal with them. you never know when you, or someone you care about will leave this world, so you have to live every day as if it is ur last... i just realized that today. i don't know why, but as i was speeding towards my almost certain death, the first thing i saw was courtney...
it was like seeing an angel, she was there, with light about her, and i proceeded into what may have been a future... it showed us together in a house, and we were laughing together on the couch... that was the first thing i saw... it was almost as if my body was acting without thought, cuz i could only think of her... but my body was moving and keeping me safe...
why do i still think about her the way i do? rhetorical questions jab at me every day, and i can do nothing to fend them off...
i still await the call of the one woman i would do damn near anything to have another chance, but know there never will be another chance.
i still await the chance to prove that i'm someone who can care for her, for that girl... but will never get it.
i still await the passing of this grief that i feel, this constant yearning for the girl who will never yearn for me again...
and i still await myself to be free from the constraints of a love that was never meant to be, but came to be, and stayed alive for so long....
i am greatful for every day of life that i have, no matter how miserable or lonely it is... as i look back on the mistakes i've made, i most definately have regrets, but i am learning how to deal with them. you never know when you, or someone you care about will leave this world, so you have to live every day as if it is ur last... i just realized that today. i don't know why, but as i was speeding towards my almost certain death, the first thing i saw was courtney...
it was like seeing an angel, she was there, with light about her, and i proceeded into what may have been a future... it showed us together in a house, and we were laughing together on the couch... that was the first thing i saw... it was almost as if my body was acting without thought, cuz i could only think of her... but my body was moving and keeping me safe...
why do i still think about her the way i do? rhetorical questions jab at me every day, and i can do nothing to fend them off...
i still await the call of the one woman i would do damn near anything to have another chance, but know there never will be another chance.
i still await the chance to prove that i'm someone who can care for her, for that girl... but will never get it.
i still await the passing of this grief that i feel, this constant yearning for the girl who will never yearn for me again...
and i still await myself to be free from the constraints of a love that was never meant to be, but came to be, and stayed alive for so long....
posted by p03tic_tr4g3dy at 7:18 PM
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