you said...

You said...

you tell me that you love me, yet you leave me all alone,
you tell me that you need me, yet you never want me home,
you tell me just to kiss you, yet you always push away,
just tell me that you hate me, and let's end this all today,

you say that you want me, yet you lead me to the end,
you ask me just to hold you tight, but i am but a friend,
you tell me that your heart is mine, but you run to others' arms,
and in the end with all this plight, everyone is harmed,

i asked you all the questions, so that we could feel no more pain,
i asked you what you had to lose, and what you had to gain,
i asked you if this was real, if this wasn't just a game,
and in the end you answered with lies, and now i feel ashamed,

you lied so much straight to my face, and don't even try to say no,
you changed ur mind a hundred times, and don't say it wasn't so,
you know that i'd do anything for you, i'd give it all away,
just tell me that you hate me, and let's end this all today...

Angel
Flores

i thought that for once things were changed, but they're not. not in the least. i thought that maybe for once, someone was acting on the way they felt, but no, not this time. i asked so many questions, almost all nought in my favor, in that of someone else's, and she answered them so that they meant that she was sincere about "us"... "us"... what a joke. i'm a fool. i tried to make it so that she wouldn't want me, and she only wanted more of me. and then today when i gave her me again, she did what she always does, changes her mind.

she wants to try to fix things with her b/f, but how can she do that while dating me? she can't. she said that her love for him has changed, that things aren't the same between them anymore. she forgets that i've been there. i've been her before. i've been at the point where i was deciding between two people, but i never once changed my mind. no matter how bad it was, i stuck with it, and in the end, it was all okay. she talks abut taking chances, not regretting high school, she doesn't understand that in the end, this is all she has. soon she'll be off to college, and then it'll be all gone. everyone here will be gone, she'll be out in boston.

i want what she wants, but she changes what she wants on a daily basis. i wish things would be clear for once...

i feel dumb, every time. i don't know, it's so stupid, but w/e. maybe i'm stupid. i don't know anymore.