let these fucking games end....
i'm assuming frustration and anger lead this blog entry, but fuck it...
i'm done. i don't care how many times i've said it, or threatened it, or thought it, i'm done. i'm fucking done with all of these damn games that people decide to play with me, and then when they decide that they're done toying with me, they call it quits. i'm fucking done with the way people manipulate me, and say one thing, only to take it all back another time and leave me with shit... fuck this...
how in the hell does a person spend a whole night with you, no, wait, whole afternoons even, flirting, talking, cuddling... even kissing, and then expect you to believe that it's all for naught. it's like saying hey, you've won a million dollars! here you go, no wait, no, no, we don't want u to have it anymore... does she even understand how many times she's led me to believe that there might even be a start at something, and then how many times she has crushed that something down... i don't even understand anymore. it seems that understanding has left my person.
but i bet that half of this is my fault anyways. i LET her lead me on, thinking that maybe just MAYBE something could be made.... i LET HER FUCKING MESS WITH ME... i myself became her GOD DAMNED TOY, just to let her to whatever she pleased with me... FUCK THIS. it's like i'm bending over just so she can screw me again and again... whatever, this is a bunch of bullshit...
it's not even like she had no intentions of trying to start something with me. she took a "break" (apparantly one day constitutes a break here in florida) with her boyfriend, so thay she may try something with me... and then she decides, oops, no, wait... i want to be with my boyfriend again... HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT..
i almost left a wonderful girl, one who is amazing, to try something with caitlin... fuck it, no more... i've hence realized my mistakes, and i won't fucking look back again. this is absurd. how am i to believe what she says anymore... the only way to stop this completely, is to leave her alone... fuck it... i mean, look at this. it's like, i open up, let her stab me, and close myself again.... i'm so naive... i'm so dumb... you would think that someone like me would have sense.. i guess that's what love does to you. it fucks you over in the end... great great GREAT...
i'm done being a toy for someone who only plays when she wants to... i'm done being used, and then dropped on a whim. i'm done being toyed with. i'm done being fucked over, i'm done being screwed oh so royally... i'm done with all of this madness and i'm done with all of the intolerable pain that accompanies it. she's made her decision, and it won't ever change. i don't know if it's fear, if it's guilt, but i hope it's true love. good luck caitlin and mike, good luck.
mike you can have her, i'm done.... i'm done until she decides what the hell she wants for sure... and i'm sure it's been decided, so then i'm done being a fucking toy in this damned world. god i can't wait for all of this high school bullshit to end...
fuck it...
"once you leave neverland, you forget how to fly..."
how can someone share an emotion such as passion and love with someone, and then rip it away from them on a whim? it seems so....
i'm done. i don't care how many times i've said it, or threatened it, or thought it, i'm done. i'm fucking done with all of these damn games that people decide to play with me, and then when they decide that they're done toying with me, they call it quits. i'm fucking done with the way people manipulate me, and say one thing, only to take it all back another time and leave me with shit... fuck this...
how in the hell does a person spend a whole night with you, no, wait, whole afternoons even, flirting, talking, cuddling... even kissing, and then expect you to believe that it's all for naught. it's like saying hey, you've won a million dollars! here you go, no wait, no, no, we don't want u to have it anymore... does she even understand how many times she's led me to believe that there might even be a start at something, and then how many times she has crushed that something down... i don't even understand anymore. it seems that understanding has left my person.
but i bet that half of this is my fault anyways. i LET her lead me on, thinking that maybe just MAYBE something could be made.... i LET HER FUCKING MESS WITH ME... i myself became her GOD DAMNED TOY, just to let her to whatever she pleased with me... FUCK THIS. it's like i'm bending over just so she can screw me again and again... whatever, this is a bunch of bullshit...
it's not even like she had no intentions of trying to start something with me. she took a "break" (apparantly one day constitutes a break here in florida) with her boyfriend, so thay she may try something with me... and then she decides, oops, no, wait... i want to be with my boyfriend again... HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT..
i almost left a wonderful girl, one who is amazing, to try something with caitlin... fuck it, no more... i've hence realized my mistakes, and i won't fucking look back again. this is absurd. how am i to believe what she says anymore... the only way to stop this completely, is to leave her alone... fuck it... i mean, look at this. it's like, i open up, let her stab me, and close myself again.... i'm so naive... i'm so dumb... you would think that someone like me would have sense.. i guess that's what love does to you. it fucks you over in the end... great great GREAT...
i'm done being a toy for someone who only plays when she wants to... i'm done being used, and then dropped on a whim. i'm done being toyed with. i'm done being fucked over, i'm done being screwed oh so royally... i'm done with all of this madness and i'm done with all of the intolerable pain that accompanies it. she's made her decision, and it won't ever change. i don't know if it's fear, if it's guilt, but i hope it's true love. good luck caitlin and mike, good luck.
mike you can have her, i'm done.... i'm done until she decides what the hell she wants for sure... and i'm sure it's been decided, so then i'm done being a fucking toy in this damned world. god i can't wait for all of this high school bullshit to end...
fuck it...
"once you leave neverland, you forget how to fly..."
how can someone share an emotion such as passion and love with someone, and then rip it away from them on a whim? it seems so....
posted by p03tic_tr4g3dy at 8:13 PM
1 Comments:
its me, the anonymous person again who said "ooooh how romantic!" Well I am SO sorry. but what can I do? I probally live milloins of miles from you. I just got dumped today. 11/11/04. I liked the guy So much. I feel like shit. "better off as friends" he said. I know it must be hard to feel like you found someone you might love. and then it gets all screwed up. sorry.
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