today's the day i'll fade away

tonight i went to the movies with the girl that every guy has dreams about. haha, seriously, check this out. a girl who is amazingly beautiful, enjoys movies with just pure slapstick comedy in it, is intelligent beyond comparison, and burps at any given second... man, that right there is the definition of the perfect girl, haha.... but tonight i think i blew it...

i close myself off so badly that i become someone other than myself. i in essence become a babbling idiot without any sense of security. i can crack jokes and be me, but i still shut myself down... maybe that in the end will become my downfall. i'm just a scaredy cat, i guess... oh well, maybe one day i'll break out of it.. haha

i don't know what is keeping me from going out there and being with people. i mean, i always have this wierd feeling of something, like just an odd aura that surrounds me. i dunno how obvious i make it, but it's just there. and with this girl, she makes it go away for a moment, she lets me be myself without being scared. and i made myself an idiot.

heh, maybe god is trying to tell me something... maybe not. oh well, in the end, whatever happens happens, and we'll see how everything turns out, no? yeah...

for now i'll just fade, and maybe it'll all be okay in the end...

"once you leave neverland, you forget how to fly..."