questions left unanswered...

Sometimes you wonder why things happen. and why things are said. i learned courtney still cares about me, but she won't do anything, and i can't do anything cuz i'm too scared. i learned alot of things, and i... *sigh* i just wish i didn't ever fuck us up. ya no? it feels like i'm incompatiable with everyone else, and she's the only one that can understand me. it feels like i can't articulate my feelings to her, and i'm sick of it... maybe i can talk to her... i don't know, i'm so scared to. maybe i'll email her soon, and see what's going on down there, and if i can do anything with it.

it's not that i'm incapable of dating... i've been on many dates since her, and none of them work... it sucks. nobody clicks with me as well as she does, i don't understand it... it's insane how she can just rip every emotion out of me, and then slowly replace them... there were alot of unsaid feeligns, alot of buried skeletons, that never resurfaced, and thus made our relationship harder. i don't know if it's too late to get them off of my chest or not... i'm gonna venture out and see if i can take care of this once and for all... because now it's time to throw all care to the wind, in a couple of weeks i'll no longer be working there, and then i'll have no shame in saying the things to her.... so here we go.... let's hold our breath, and take our hands, and maybe find something out of this mess we call life...

And when i wake up you'll be there,
and it will be the way it was.... the way it was....
i want our life... i want us back...


"once you leave neverland, you forget how to fly..."